8 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me

1. You will cry a lot and feel really depressed during the first couple weeks. It's very rough but it's very normal. 
I felt pretty awful during the first two weeks. I was overwhelmed, I was tired, I was anxious, I couldn't eat and I felt like I had no control over my life. This was despite the fact that Andrew was home with me, people were bringing us meals every night, my mother in law helped clean our apartment, I was getting decent sleep and I had a beautiful son. The reasoning behind the baby blues is you lose a lot of amazing hormones when you lose your placenta and you kind of dive bomb into a nasty place. You can't explain it, you can't control it but there is hope. I wouldn't say I'm over the baby blues yet but some days are easier than others - just make sure you let those flood gates open!! I was trying not to cry so that I wouldn't feel weak but the more I cried, the better I felt and the more I talked about it, the more hope I got. Tell as many people as you can about how you feel because you will have more support than you think. Also remember, you are not alone. Every new mom experiences these feelings and according to all of them, things do get better.

2. An amazing pick-me-up vitamin regimen: Fish Oil, Vitamin D and B-Complex.
This regimen was suggested to me by a midwife and it really helps me get through the rough days. B-Complex helps relieve stress and lifts your spirits. Vitamin D is like sunshine in a pill - enough said. Fish Oil has Omega 3's which can boost your mental health, relieve tension and benefit your skin. I take these three vitamins twice a day and I swear by them.

3. Your nipples will crack, bleed, be sore and piss you off. This WILL go away, even without a "perfect" latch. Schedule a lactation consultation ASAP. 
Unforeseen breastfeeding problems can be devastating. For me it started with a bad latch (or lack thereof) in the hospital. Ezequiel had an excellent suck, actually more of a bite but for some reason couldn't figure out how to do it on my nipple. An awesome nurse taught me to stick my pinky in his mouth until he was actively sucking, which didn't take long, then transfer him onto the breast. It was like a warm up and it worked great but the deep latch wasn't there and my nipples cracked and were very painful. Then the engorgement came which was also painful and difficult to manage so I pumped to relieve some pressure. However, I didn't know that my milk supply would be so abundant so pumping only increased my supply and my poor baby was literally drowning at each feeding. My nipples were already cracked and since Ezequiel had a hard time latching due to a fast milk flow, it contributed to even worse nipple damage. I finally met with a lactation consultant who had me pump on the worst side and feed on the better side. This was a pain in the ass because it threw off my supply once again and I think my left boob is permanently larger BUT I have a nice supply of frozen milk now. After this routine however, my "better" side became worse so then I got a nipple shield and of course, I worried about Ezequiel not being able to wean off of it. As soon as my nipple healed though, I got him off it as quick as I could. My milk supply was still very abundant and in order to regulate it, I was instructed to nurse on one side per feeding - contrary to other advise I had received - but it worked. Ezequiel still can't get his bottom lip to stick out while he eats which could be considered a "bad latch" but after 2 1/2 weeks, my nipples are healed, they don't hurt and I feel much more confident about breastfeeding. I still leak a lot and he still has a hard time with the fast flow but his weight gain has been outstanding and he gets about 3oz of milk per feeding.

4. Stock up on pads, panty liners and nursing pads before the baby. 
You will bleed for at least two weeks and you can't use tampons. I didn't stock up because I didn't realize I would bleed for so long and even though I had been gifted with some pads, I ran out within the first week. It was really hard getting to the store in the first week and no offense to Andrew, but it would have been impossible for him to figure out which pads to buy and where to even find nursing pads. If you are like me and your milk comes in fast and hard, you will leak constantly. I was worried about running out of nursing pads so I would re-use them or keep them in my shirts for way too long, which I'm almost positive contributed to Ezequiel's thrush (see next point).

5. Your newborn could get pink eye (conjunctivitis) and thrush within the first two weeks.
Ezequiel got pink eye in week one and thrush in week two. This was a big bummer for us because we felt like we were constantly bothering him with medications and doctor visits. It is normal for newborns to get these things but we were not expecting it. Pink eye can happen from anything and Ezequiel had an issue with putting his fingers in his eyes so it's possible that he touched something dirty, then touched his eye, then bam - goopy, sad eyes for a week. We got a prescription ointment - Erythromycin - which got rid of it within five days.
In week two we noticed a white patch on his tongue that didn't go away. At first I thought it was milk residue but it didn't wipe off. Sure enough, the doctor diagnosed him with thrush, which is a yeast infection in the mouth. Babies can get thrush when mom has cracked nipples and can also get thrush while being treated with an antibiotic (the Erythromycin), and we hit both of those nails on the head. I contributed to the thrush by re-using nursing pads, not changing my bra or tops after they got wet with milk and not treating myself for thrush. APNO came to my rescue (see next point).

6. Don't waste your money trying various nipple creams and ointments for your aching nips - ask your doctor for a prescription for All Purpose Nipple Ointment (APNO). 
This prescription can be expensive and may not be covered by your insurance. It wasn't covered by mine and cost me $25 but it is well worth it because it is literally all purpose - anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-inflammatory. It will treat thrush and cracked, sore and inflamed nipples. You apply a little amount at a time
so it will last you for quite a while.

7. You CANNOT spoil a newborn. 
I became obsessed with thinking about routines, schedules and allowing Ezequiel to form bad habits. I have the books "12 Hours of Sleep By 12 Weeks Old" and "The Baby Whisperer" which I skimmed to try and figure out how to get my 2 week old on some sort of routine. I worried about letting him sleep in bed with me because I didn't want him having a hard time getting out of our bed. I worried about holding him too long, I worried about putting him down for too long. I worried about allowing him to fall asleep in my arms because he might not be able to fall asleep on his own if I keep doing that.
After talking with my midwife at my two week postpartum follow up, she told me "you cannot spoil a newborn" and it clicked. She advised me to co-sleep if I want to, hold him all day if I want to and rock him to sleep as much as I want to. All the books will tell you that you don't want your newborn to form bad habits, so don't do this and don't do that. However, my midwife pointed out that a newborn is too young to even be in a habit forming frame of mind. Which is also why trying out routines and schedules is pointless until they are 4-6 weeks old. No matter how badly I want him on a routine, I came to the realization that newborns are always changing from week to week and I can't be hard on myself if he doesn't do what I want him to do.

8. Don't expect to get back into your normal routine anytime soon. 
I didn't blow dry my hair for 2 1/2 weeks - this used to be a daily thing for me. I haven't curled or straightened my hair since before I went into labor. I rarely put on makeup anymore. I don't shower every day. I could hardly wipe my ass for a week. This is just how it is and this was hard for me to deal with. The healing process down under takes a while and you will be splashing, dabbing and walking softly for at least a week. You can't poop without the fear of ripping out your stitches. You will look 6 months pregnant when you leave the hospital and this will slowly go away. You can't wear your normal shirts without worrying about leaving them milk stained. You can't pop out of bed and make french toast and eggs. You can barely eat a meal in peace. You can't sleep without the sound of a baby whimper making your nerves jump out of your skin. You can't cuddle your partner because the baby knows what you are trying to do and will demand your attention the minute you lay a finger on him/her. No sex for six weeks - so get it in before you have the baby. I'm slowly coming to terms with this predicament but like everyone says, it gets better. They never say when though...

My little "superman" - or my little cheerleader, encouraging me to stay strong. Either way, he is my new life whether I like it or not and so far, he's pretty cool. 

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