Tiger, Tiger - A Game of Utter Destruction

I stumbled across a book review of "Tiger, Tiger" on NPR.com initially thinking it was a fictional story about a pressing issue that people can't or won't address - child sexual abuse. I quickly discovered it is an actual memoir written by author Margaux Fragoso, describing in detail from her perspective as a child the sexual abuse she endured starting at age 7 with a man who was 51 years old.

What drew me to the book was the fact that a survivor of sexual abuse came out of hiding and put in writing, nearly every detail of how she was targeted, manipulated, groomed and molested by this man. She describes personal qualities that developed as a result of abuse, giving insight to the reader about the signs that children display in school and at home when they are being sexually abused. The memoir is graphic and it is raw. At times, I had to put the book down out of pure sickness. However, the fact of the matter is that it is REAL LIFE for thousands of children and she allows readers to view what it is like to live in that world.

She accurately describes the motivations and methods of pedophiles which most adults understand to be sick and illegal, but that most children do not, including herself. Peter, the man that molested her for 15 years, was able to convince her at age 7 that their initial friendship was "fate" and that is was "loving" and worst of all "normal". He manipulates her into believing that they are in love and that he was meant to meet her, become her lover and spend the rest of their lives together. He starts with simple children's games and creates a fantasy world for her where she unknowingly escapes real life and becomes binded to him in ways that she can't explain. They invent the game Tiger, Tiger where Margaux has to pretend to be a tiger in the jungle, jumping around, playing and laughing -- but then Peter reminds her that real animals don't wear clothes, and doesn't she want to be a real tiger? So the story continues...

On the outside, her mother sees the relationship as harmless and friendly. Peter's house is a place where she can escape the verbal abuse of her husband, she can listen to her headphones and enjoy the sunshine. But due to her mental illnesses, she never once questions why Margaux and Peter are in the basement for so long or why she kisses him on the cheek so often. It could also be pure ignorance, who knows. Margaux's father is an alcoholic who seems to have an inkling as to what is going on but has no idea how to confront it or stop it and at some point chooses to "wash his hands" of the matter.

As a little girl, Margaux's mind is like a sponge - absorbing Peter's words, his touch and his actions. She begins to believe everything he says and does, not in a robotic or hypnotized way, but more in a longing way. She internalizes the abuse as love and affection; the attention she receives from Peter is what she needs at the moment and it turns into a craving as she gets older. She can't focus in school, she is anti-social, she becomes bulimic and she creates an alternate personality, all as a result of the tumultuous relationship between her and Peter.

With her age comes the ability for her to speak and think for herself, a quality that Peter does not favor. But even after the strange looks they receive in the public, the social worker that shows up at her front door and the new foster children coming in and out of Peter's home, Margaux is still extremely attached to him. Something that she wants to sever but can't since Peter has become her all; he has ingrained himself into every aspect of her life and the abuse is all she knows.

This book is not for the weak at heart, although if this has been your journey perhaps you could find some healing through this memoir. I highly recommend this book to anyone who thinks they can stomach it, not because child abuse is fun to read about but because I strongly believe that everyone needs to be educated on this topic. Pedophiles are all around us, children are abused every day and the public needs to know what is going on so that it can be stopped. We need to know and understand the signs that children give when they are being abused; we also need to understand the methods that pedophiles use to again access to children so that we can play an important role in ending child abuse..

This is an article that came out in the Oregonian recently. Child sex abuse is happening locally and globally and it needs to be stopped.

"Sex abuser trailed vacationing Lake Oswego family to get access to girl" Pin It