Max Train Mayhem

The gas prices are ridiculous. It just so happens that as soon as I transferred back to Hillsboro for work, the gas prices started creeping higher and higher. I believe the highest price is just over $4 per gallon and supposedly will get higher once summer hits. My car gets great gas mileage but driving 45 minutes both ways, in stop and go traffic does my gas tank no justice.

Let's not forget about the calluses I get on my hands from gripping the steering wheel so tight, while I curse and glare at the idiots on the road. I am a fierce driver and I get road rage somewhat easily. I've tried to curb this rage by playing calming music, taking deep breaths, opening my sun roof but it usually doesn't last long.
Portland has a somewhat decent transportation system and I've taken the Max train to Hillsboro in the past in an effort to save money in gas and de-stress. The only problem is that it takes an hour both ways and I have to leave my house a lot earlier. So now the question: Which is more valuable? My time or my money? I decided my money. I found free parking near the Max and have decided to wake up every morning at 5:45am to catch the train by 6:50am. Sounds tiring right? Well it's not too bad as long as I have my coffee and my knitting. It's a further attempt to take my life one step at a time. It's also somewhat exhilirating to people-watch on the Max. If anyone has ever taken the Max, you know what I'm talking about.... You've got your homeless, smelly, pee soaked, passed out drunk people; your sweaty, smelly fat dudes that take up two seats; your parents with the 20 kids that don't know how to sit down and be quiet, and then the people who think it's cool to stand up without holding onto anything. I always wait for the not-so-suprising ending as soon as I sense the Max coming to a halt. That's when they get tipsy and fall flat on the floor or onto those who are seated, crushing the person's body beneath them and simultaneously breaking the person's head and neck.

When I choose a seat, I'm usually not picky. The other day, I chose to sit by some guy. I usually try to avoid eye contact just because I don't want to have a random conversation with someone unless I initiate it. The man I sat down next to seemed nice, salt and pepper hair, mid 30's, wire rimmed glasses, dressed well. I busted out my knitting project and he attempted to make menial conversation with me about. He asked me what it was, how big would it be, asked me if my mom taught me how to knit, blah blah blah. I must admit that I have a bias when it comes to men starting conversations with me--I assume they have some sort of alterior motive besides just being "friendly". This theory of mine has been tested and approved by me and a few friends and I stay true to it. Either way, I kept my answers short and continued on with my knitting. I think the man got a clue and pulled out his iPhone, connected his headphones and began playing some music.

Problem #1: His music was extremely loud. I could hear the beat of the song starting up loud and clear. Problem #2: I could understand the lyrics and instantly recognized the song, which made me feel quite awkward. Why? Because it went something like this:

"You let me violate you. You let me desecrate you. You let me penetrate you. You let me complicate you..."

STRANGER DANGER!!! Was this man attempting to send me a message through song?? The rest of the song is quite vulgar and descriptive and he played the ENTIRE thing, allowing me to hear every word while thoughts of his perversion were streaming through my head. How dare he! First the meaningless conversation, then the song, what next?? I was starting to feel weird and grossed out and possible a little curious about what provocative song he had next on his playlist. Out of the corner of my eye, I peered down on his iPhone attempting to catch a glimpse at what this guy was really up to. Then I got really confused...

He was playing with some kind of iPhone app called Grindr? There were photos of half naked, muscular men, posing and looking quite gorgeous. Then it hit me; this was a site for gay males to meet other gay males in their local area and this guy was totally into it! He was shamelessly scrolling through the photos like a man on a mission for gold. He was clicking on profiles, reading bios, rating hotness and was definitely not into the female gender. Ha! All the worry for nothing. I laugh at myself now for assuming this guy was into me and for trying sending me a unique little message. I also laugh at the idea that the Nine Inch Nail song was a fitting intro to his hunt. I suppose he needed a little encouragement or motivation to get his search started, and oh boy I hope he found it. Pin It