Cushioned against my bare breast, I hold my son as he drifts off to sleep. His plump lips have just released my nipple, the sweet "liqueur" drips down his chin. I look forward to this moment every night. Just him and me, flush with one another, floating away into our own sleepy wonderland. I stare at his long eyelashes, his button nose, his fleshy cheeks. I think about the nine months that he spent inside me, growing and developing into this amazing little baby that sleeps so peacefully against me. He's the most beautiful creation I've ever laid eyes on.His chest rises and falls, quickly and sharply, his tiny lungs, his little heart all work together at the perfect pace. I inhale his sweet milky breath as he exhales with a sigh of relief and relaxation. He begins to enter REM sleep, his eyelids slit and his eyes darting back and forth.
His legs look longer... when did that happen?
His head has outgrown my palm. The length of his body now hangs sleepily at all angles across me. What happened to my tiny seven pound baby that once fit so easily inside my tummy?
I forget about the five hours of sleep I got the night before. I forgive you for pulling my hair out and yanking on my earrings. I don't mind all the grunting and fussing. That painful tooth coming in? Cry all you want, as long as I can hold you tight.
I instantly regret how quickly I lay him down to bed some nights; how I urge him off the breast before he's done just so I can go back to sleep. I look at his precious face and tell myself, this moment won't last forever. I remind myself to take a mental picture. I stare at him - my love, my world - until my eyes dry out and I'm forced to blink. I close my eyes and listen to his breathe, soak in his warmth. I picture him. Never forget this moment.
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