7.31.2013

My Birth Story

The day I went into labor - phew!!! What a wild ride! I remember like it was just yesterday. Three months later, the memories still burnbright in my mind and the sensations, thoughts and emotions are flooding backin. Giving birth to my son was one of the greatest accomplishments of my lifeand the day he was born was the biggest life changing moment I have everexperienced.

On April 25th, 2013 at 12:40 pm I had a strong Braxton-Hicks contraction. Itlasted about a minute and a half and I didn't think twice about it. I had beenworking on a project and enjoying the sun so as soon as the"fake" contraction passed, I continued on. I had only taken note ofthe time because Ezequiel was due the following day and it was a "just incase" moment; however I didn't want to get my hopes up. At 2:00 pm,another Braxton-Hicks contraction came and went. At 2:40 pm, after spending aminute and a half on my hands and knees breathing through what I thought wasyet another strong Braxton-Hicks contraction, I realized that I had never hadso many “fake” contractions so close together. I started keeping track of whatended up being the beginning of my labor contractions and realized that by theend of the night, I might have my son in my arms. 

My contraction log
My contractions continued every 20 to 45 minutes and each timethey lasted about a minute and a half. Some of them I could breathe throughjust fine and some of them stopped me in my tracks. A couple times I foundmyself on my hands and knees, taking DEEP breaths with my eyes closed thinking only 30 more seconds, only 20  more seconds. After the contraction wasover, I felt completely normal as if nothing had even happened. Around 4:00 pmI called my midwife who confirmed that I was most likely going into labor butthat these contractions could continue like this all night long. She told me toeat, drink lots of water and relax as much as possible. Relax…. HA! I washaving my baby!!

April 25th 2013
"In Labor"
Andrew came home from work around 6:00pm and my contractions wereabout 20 minutes apart. We knew we would be going to the hospital within thenext 24 hours so we made sure our bags were packed and that our friends andfamily knew what was going on. During our childbirth preparation class, theinstructor suggested having a water bottle with a straw so that Andrew couldjust hold it while I sipped and labored. She also suggested eating a mealbefore going to the hospital since it could be hours before I ate. Mycontractions were still pretty far apart and were manageable so we decided togo to the store to get a water bottle and then get some Thai takeout. I made it to the car, no big deal. I made it into the store, nobig deal. I had a contraction in the store, tried not to make a big deal out ofit. It will pass. We got to the Thairestaurant and while we were ordering, I had another contraction but this timeit was a big deal. It hurt. I wassweating. I couldn’t move. It felt like my whole body was being consumed bythis wave of pain that began in my lower back, moved around my sides then downinto my lower abdomen. 90 seconds of intense cramping, tensing and pain. Iknew that once they were over I would be just fine. 

We left the restaurant andstarted crossing the street to the car then BAM – another contraction right inthe middle of the road. I tried to hurry out of the street but Andrew forced meto walk slow and said something along the lines of “I’ll eff someone up if theytry to mess with my pregnant wife”……. thanks babe. This contraction was alsovery strong and the first thing that came to mind was to squat next to the carand hold on for dear life. In the time between leaving and coming home, my contractions wentfrom 20 minutes apart to 15 minutes apart. 

Rule #1: 5-1-1

When yourcontractions are 5 minutes apart, they last for at least 1 minute and this goeson for at least 1 hour, then you need to get your ass to the hospital. Thecloser together they got, the more anxious I became because I wasn't trying tohave this baby at home but I also didn't want to go to the hospital too early.It was very important for me to labor at home as long as possible because thisensured that there were no unnecessary medical interventions and I could feelsafer and more secure in my own home.

Not only were the contractions closer together but they were muchstronger. Earlier in the day, all I had to do was breathe through them but now,I had to stop what I was doing, close my eyes, breathe deep and focus – Ezequiel. Ezequiel. Ezequiel, you’re coming tomeet us. Around 9:45 pm, I decided to relax in the bathtub. It was a nicefeeling but somewhat difficult feeling like a whale in a tiny pond, trying notto drown during a contraction. While in the tub, I felt a slight gush down there. The bath water turned alittle pink. Another little gush. I called the midwife and told her that mywater may have broke but that it was hard to tell since I was already in water.I told her that my contractions were about 10 minutes apart and she took backher statement from earlier - my contractions probably won’t last all  night since it sounded like Ezequiel wascloser to meeting this world than she thought.

I decided to get out of the tub and move onto something softer sinceI was in some real pain. As soon as I stepped out, another gush. Did I pee? Didthe baby come out? Nope, my water is still breaking! Then a contraction. Andrewmoved me into the bedroom where he had lit a candle, turned down the lights,put a towel on the bed and laid out some dry clothes. Contraction. I don’t wantto get dressed. Just let me lay down. Contraction. Close your eyes. Deepbreath. Focus. Push. Breathe. Push.

It's 10:30 pm and I suddenly have the urge to push this baby out.We are still home, my mom is still 45 minutes away and I can barely open myeyes. Plus I’m naked and I can’t imagine moving right now. Contraction. Then Ihear, your contractions went from 7minutes apart to 5 minutes apart and the last one was about 4 minutes ago. Ithink we need to go to the hospital. Contraction. Push. I tell Andrew tomake the calls and get the car ready. I struggle to put my clothes on and Ihave one leg in my pants when another contraction hits me. Andrew helps me downthe stairs, outside and… contraction… into the car. We begin our 5 minute driveto the hospital but it feels like forever.

A couple months back we were told there is a skybridge from theparking lot that goes directly into the maternity ward so when we show up toProvidence Portland, we start looking for this “skybridge”. Around and aroundand around the parking garage we go. Contraction. Speed bump. Contraction.Wrong way. Reverse. Contraction. No skybridge. At this point, the baby’s headhas descended into my pelvis and I’m practically sitting on his skull. Everylittle bump and turn feels like a punch to my entire lower body. I startscreaming at Andrew to get me inside the hospital. But this is a one way only so I have to drive all the way around. Screwthe one way, drive the wrong way or else I’m going to freak out. Finally we getto the doors of the ER and the receptionist attempts to check me in. Whats your name?... Miss, whats your name? Canthis woman not see that I’m in extreme pain right now?? I can’t even open myeyes because every time I do, I lose focus on my labor and I can barely evenspeak a word. I manage to squeak out a few words – Andrew, tell her what she needs to know. Finally I’m being rolledinto my room.

As soon as we step in the room, I’m ripping my clothes off. I don’twant anyone or anything touching me. I lay on the bed and continue breathingthrough my hard labor that clenches and squeezes my entire body. The nurses andmidwife come in and check my cervix and I’m already 8 cm dilated! No wonder Ihad the urge to push before I even got to the hospital. The midwife talks methrough a few contractions and asks if I would like to have the baby in thebirthing chair. This new chair came from Germany and apparently is the first ofits kind in the US and I was one of the first women to give birth in it. Thereare two sections to the seat – a U shaped part for me and an attached piece forsomeone to sit behind me. A knotted sheet hangs from an overhead bar so you cangrab on and bear down.

Breathing through a contraction
I can barely walk at this point. I’m completely unaware of what is going on around me or who is in the room. Frankly, I don’t care. The only thing I can think of is to focus on the pain, breathe deep and let my body do the rest.

As soon as I get to the birthing chair, my urge to push getsstronger and stronger. I ask the midwife what to do – should I push now? Orshould I wait? I don’t want to get too tired too fast but she assures me tofollow my body’s lead and if I feel like I need to push, then I should push. Sothat’s what I did. For two straight hours! Now, when I say “push”, it’s verysimilar to the urge you get when you need to poop. However, this isn’t youraverage poop – this is a 7 lb human forcing his way through your body. And theyaren’t tiny pushes either; they are pushes that could send your eyeballsshooting out of your sockets. They are pushes that take every ounce of energyyou have ever accumulated in your entire life. Pushes that flex every muscle inyour body and puts you to the biggest physical test of your life. I pushed hard.

Resting in between contractions. Mom Michelle supporting me. 
Bracing myself for a contraction
Pushing
When you go into labor, there is something very primal that takesover. Its the only explanation to my focus, motivation and strength. It’s alsothe only explanation as to why it sounded like someone was being murdered inthe maternity ward since I was screaming at the top of my lungs. And no, itdoesn’t feel like a watermelon or a bowling ball coming through your vagina, itfeels like a human. I felt his head resting on my pelvic floor, then drop lowerinto my cervix then finally start to crown. I felt his shoulders grind along my pelvicbone on his way out followed by his hips, butt and legs. It was intense.

The midwife informed me that he was beginning to crown and Ineeded to push longer and harder if I wanted to see him anytime soon. Ithought, how can I push harder than Ialready am?? My arms were sore and tired from tensing up. My legs weregiving out from all the pressure. My hands felt like they were on fire fromgripping the knotted sheet. But I wanted to see my baby, so I pushed. Harder.Longer. I can see his head. Push. Here he comes, I can see his hair. Push.He’s coming, he’s coming! Push. Iopen my eyes for a brief moment and see Andrew on the floor in front of me,wide eyed. He tells me he can see our sons head and I just need to push alittle more. I give one final big push.  

At 1:13 am on April 26th 2013, Ezequiel Adrian Holguincame screaming into this world. Andrew was the first person to touch and holdour son. He caught the sweet slippery mess of a baby and said he has never feltanything more wholesome in his entire life. Ezequiel weighed 7lbs 1oz and was 20.5 incheslong.

My first reaction to Ezequiel
Seeing Ezequiel for the first time
Ezequiel awake and alert
Baby Ezequiel
Enjoying our son
Before I was even pregnant, I knew I wanted a natural birth. It seemed like the only appropriate way to bring a child into this world. Ina May Gaskin was a great inspiration through her book "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" because she was able to reassure, motivate and calm me. She explains the fear that is instilled in pregnant woman when it comes to childbirth, whether its fear of pain, fear of pushing a large baby through a small hole or fear of simply letting your body take over. She explains how to kick out that fear and bring in your most natural instinct - birthing a child. A womans body is created for birth just like its created for making a baby in the first place. The entire point of labor is to open your cervix and make way for the baby to travel through the birth canal and of course its going to hurt. Your uterus is making wave like motions on purpose to move that baby down and out. The most amazing thing is that your body knows exactly what its doing and throughout my labor and birth, I remembered that and let my body do its own work. I had an amazing birth experience and yes it hurt, but now I can barely remember that pain because the second Ezequiel was born, the pain subsided and I was overcome with relief. Now, I do want another child and I will do it the same exact way - it's definitely worth it. 

Ezequiel at 1 month
Ezequiel at 2 months
Ezequiel at 3 months
Silly boy
Making bubbles
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